“One’s destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things.”
This one certainly rings true for me—especially when I think of all the roads we’ve taken and all those beautiful destinations that have been ticked off our list over the last two decades and maybe a little more, of our life together. The journeys have all been life lessons, something that we would never have learnt had we remained ensconced in the comforts of our homes. As a couple who’ve travelled and moved countries, set up homes in different cities from scratch each time, life seems to have come a full circle and yet, many dreams are still left unfulfilled, many roads yet to be travelled and many life lessons probably still awaiting us around the corner.
I’m no relationship expert, but one thing that I’ve learnt through the years is this—it isn’t love alone that holds a relationship together, but learning to accept that disagreements and differences are part of the deal, that friction is as real as affection and belief in self-worth is as necessary as adapting oneself to respect those very differences that irritate us about one other, and then of course, learning to let go. It is all of these that really matter.
Truth be told, it is much easier to write about this today than living this truth over the years. Actually, a lot harder! Growth is painful. But, that’s how we grow, isn’t it?
The year was 1997. A destination that we both took off for, in the midst of a back-breaking week of work was the 2.5-day trip to Udaipur. Taking the late-night bus from Ahmedabad to reach Udaipur in the wee hours of the morning was exciting then. (I’d dread it now!) It was a budget trip all the way but what an amazing break we had in the beautiful City of Lakes.
I have no pictures from the trip back then, except for precious memories, but here is a shot from a recent trip taken in early 2016, What do you think of the view?
Sunset by the Fatehsagar Lake, Udaipur, Rajasthan.
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This Esha, so rings true:
“It isn’t love alone that holds a relationship together, but learning to accept that disagreements and differences are part of the deal, that friction is as real as affection and belief in self-worth is as necessary as adapting oneself to respect those very differences that irritate us about one other, and then of course, learning to let go. It is all of these that really matter.”
You aren’t a relationship expert but you spoke like one, and that’s what tugged my heart strings right now.
I feel self-worth, self-love is an integral part of any relationship. If we can’t love ourselves enough, we might as well not expect others to love us back in return. True, right? It’s not an easy journey to work on self-love, a arduous and tedious one, given our conditioning but it’s about that one shift, about changing our perspective and about accepting ourselves for who we are.
Thank you for this thought-provoking post. You always leave me with a thought to ponder upon.
Big hugs my dearest friend. I hope you are having a good week. Take good care and shine on your wonderful light.
That’s a beautiful and thought-provoking quote, Esha. You are absolutely right about relationships. It takes more than love to build an everlasting relationship. You’ve done a fabulous job in conveying your thoughts on the matter. <3
Oh, and I love that picture. So beautiful and serene. 🙂
Believe it or not, the still waters look ominous to me. I always get scared of the water and the dark so together, it doesn’t bode well.
Oh really! No, it didn’t feel that way to me, Sunita. It was a beautiful dusk and the gently falling darkness had a magic all of its own, that I wanted to capture in my lens, but probably didn’t come through.
Good Henry Miller quote and very true.
Very pretty and moody shot, it’s both stark and misty. The background and boat motoring into the sunset really contribute to a lovely composition.
Do you ever use filters, I think it might be time to invest in one for sunset shots.
Thank you Jeanna. I’m glad the mood in the pictures caught your attention. Yes, I do like the idea but have never used filters in my sunset shots. I feel they come out quite ok so I’m happy with what I get generally.
What a beautiful place. I couldn’t see Udaipur but may be someday.
I loved what you said about relationships. In my 12+ years with VT (8 years of wedding) I love his strengths and him as a person. But there are disagreements and issues that we both adjust and accommodate. No one is perfect and like wise no relationship.
What a beautiful quote you got there.
Oh, you haven’t? Then, I’d say do keep Udaipur in your itinerary for the future someday. You can cover most of it in 3-4 days and I can tell you, you are absolutely going to love it. I completely agree with you no relationship is perfect. I guess we all have to work to make it a happy and successful one.
Beautiful picture and words that ring so true
Thank you so much, Anou’di, for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
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Ah yes…those budget trips can be the BEST trips!
Thanks for sharing the beautiful view!
Oh yes, Lisa. I totally agree that budget trips can be the BEST ever! Glad you enjoyed the view.
That LQQKS beautiful nice capture and post 🙂
Have a sunsettastic week ➡
Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed the picture. Hope you’re having a great weekend.
It’s a beautiful view and a beautiful sunset. I hear you about certain things that were exciting once no longer are, but we all (I think) look at the world in a different way as we grow in life’s experience.
Yes, Alana, our view does change as we grow older. Some hard lessons only come with hindsight. Glad to know you loved the view.
Love the picture, Esha. But I must confess, it’s your words that got my attention. Yes, life is all about learning and growth and staying open to every experience.
So glad to know that, Corinne! Yes, I do agree—life is all about learning and growing, sometimes in joy and often times in pain but only if and when we are open to them.
Learning to accept the differences and disagreements make the relationships work. This is a lovely picture!
So glad you liked the picture, Shubhra. Yes, relationships do demand acceptance of our differences and the fact that no two people will be the same.
I so agree. Relationships work on acknowledging each other’s mistakes and differences. And that is a beautiful photograph. We have been to Udaipur and I remember being on a bus and reaching the place in the wee of the morning 😀
True, Shalini. Looking back, I can say, it does take some heartache and some tears to learn our lessons on how to make relationships work. So glad you liked the picture. Would love to hear your Udaipur story someday, Shalini!
Successful relationships are hard work and your words of wisdom state the truth. There will be rough spots, which take commitment to smooth over again. Congratulations on your partnership’s longevity! 🙂 That’s a lovely photo. You must have so many happy memories of this place. Cheers!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Debbie! We’ve been through some wonderful years and some very rough patches too and today, on hindsight, I can say it wasn’t always smooth-sailing but we stuck at it and tried! This place does bring many beautiful memories, Debbie. They are many. 🙂
Oh yes…..that’s what a relationship is all about! Perfectly summed up, Esha! And, the shot is beautiful, too!
How have you been, dear girl? WIll call you one of these days.
Thank you, dear Shilpa! I’m not sure if this is what everyone will agree with, but this is certainly what my experience has taught me. And btw, I’m still learning.:D
Your words on relationship are on the point. And it takes experience and understanding to realize that.
I have never been to Rajasthan, but from what I have see, I should definitely visit it. Beautiful capture.
Oh, you must visit Udaipur someday, Rajlakshmi. This is a city that is as pretty as can be and if you are a history buff, you’ll love it even more. Glad you liked this picture. Nothing compares to the views that you enjoy in your part of the world, though!!! 🙂
I always love reading your posts Di. You rightfully said that ‘growth is painful’, we all realise it the hard way. This is a beautiful picture. I myself remember my trip to Udaipur with a toddler in tow and after attending a hectic wedding of a cousin in Ahmedabad, however, the moment we reached Udaipur we felt so relaxed. One of my best trips.
Thank you, dear Tina. So, my thought resonated with you? Yes, some life lessons can only come the hard way (at least, it has, for me) So glad to hear you had a great experience of your trip to Udaipur. I can imagine how challenging travelling with a toddler can be!I remember reading your post on Udaipur too.
This is a lovely pic and I so loved your quote at the start – a fresh perspective that I totally agree with